so as the day approaches, i'm getting more and more nervous. dave told me last night that i should apply for temporary disability because i'm probably going to be out of work for a long time. this sucks so bad. i don't want to lose my clients. i'm scared of that. i love my clients. if i get the call today and i can manage it, i'd like to call my two clients scheduled for color in the coming weeks and do their hair tomorrow.
he said he thinks i'm going to be out of work for nearly 8 weeks! i don't want to be out of work for so long. ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh
i have managed to stay super calm when talking to people at work and my family, but with david, i just break down. when i'm alone, i can't stop thinking OMG I HAVE CANCER I CAN FEEL IT SLOWLY KILLING ME IM GOING TO DIE. my brain hates me today.
i keep reminding myself that this is the best thing for me. To have this thing removed and focus on being healthy and awesome and loving my life.
i want to be able to have babies and all that jazz. i don't WANT to have to do other things. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE HEALTHY ONE.
1 comment:
Please just calm yourself down you have nothing to be worried about. I don't think that they think this thing I even close to being cancer. If they did don't you think they would have referred you to the oncologist first before the surgery to have him go over the tests that were done. I think they are just erring on the side of good judgement in the case that something may happen. I don't think that you need to worry about your clients and I think you'll be fine. Just hold yourself together babe and we'll go at this thing one step at a time and before you know it you'll be painfree, healthy and ready to keep taking on the world, as a duo with me at your side of course. :-)
i love you babe.
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