i keep finding myself watching TeenMom and 16&Pregnant. I keep thinking “How can these irresponsible little girls get pregnant so easily and I can’t?” I hate myself for comparing my situation to this bullshit on television. I fucking hate MTV for almost glamorizing teen pregnancy. Just like ABCFamily’s Secret Life of the American Teenager. Sure, these shows are edited down to whatever the network wants you to see, but it’s pretty ridiculous. No one’s life on the MTV shows is perfect, but it’s definitely not a deterrent for girls to go out and protect themselves against pregnancy.
When I was a teenager, the ONLY thing I was scared about was getting pregnant. I wasn’t scared of AIDS or herpes or HPV, I was scared of having a baby. I knew that it would change my life in a nearly devastating way, and to end up a single mom was terrifying.
Now, my biggest fear is never being able to have a baby. What if my tubes are blocked? What if my ovaries are shot? What if the endo truly fucked up my uterus and I can’t carry a baby? I don’t think anyone really understands how worried I am about not being able to have a family. Well, the only person who truly understands has like 2390572097324 other things going on in her life too. She and her husband have some health issues that are pretty scary on their own, but combined make for an even scarier situation.
I’m going to make a more concerted effort this month, I really hope it works.
I can only hope that this time next year that we have healthy babies/pregnancies. I have my fingers crossed for you love, I know you feel the same about me. :)
1 comment:
I looooove you. And we WILL have babies!!! And it's going to be the best thing ever. Waiting is so freaking annoying but we're going to appreciate our babies so much for what we've gone through.
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